Loving a statement sparkly necklace and a patterned silk frock? Better come and sit next to Me.
These two are by See by Chloe sourced on the cheap from Back in the Day.
These two are by See by Chloe sourced on the cheap from Back in the Day.
I filled out a fascinating questionnaire for a student's dissertation yesterday about clothes and image and fashion choices at work. There were questions about what's deemed appropriate to wear to work. It made me think about how much my work clothes have changed since I started in the profession in 1994 (Fun Fact-my after tax take home pay was $297 a week).
Back then it was all navy and black suits and sheer hosiery. And women weren't allowed to wear trousers to court.
Meanwhile, turns I'm not the only one embracing a nice necklace and a patterned silk frock for my day job. Look:
Linda in Chile sent me this postcard before she became Linda back in Canberra when she was Linda on Holiday in London.
I find Domestic Minutiae and repetitive stirring very comforting during life's challenging times.
So I baked some white choc chip biscuits.
And low carb dieters look away!
Because we've been going in hard with the gratin.
The cushions are unionising and threatening strike action because they are sick to death of being thrown about the traps. And who can blame them? They once lived such a peaceful existence.
This little boy turns 2 next month. I can't believe it either. Not a moment passes when I don't feel lucky and grateful to have him. If you've read the archives you know I became a mother later in life. Never ever for even 1 second do I take it for granted.
I've loved my motherhood journey and I just love looking after my son. It infuriates people when I say this, but it hasn't been hard, it's been a wonderful gift.
Being his mother really is my greatest joy.
xxxx
Two years old, wow, time is passing so fast.
ReplyDeleteI know. Scary. x
DeleteMy little boy has those shoes! They are a little more scuffed than child FF's though. I love it when you write about motherhood. I feel exactly the same way about my 3 precious babies. I've got friends and family who sadly haven't been as lucky as me when it comes to babies and children and its a constant reminder for me to be grateful.
ReplyDeleteit's fashionable to complain about motherhood but I love it.
DeleteHaving said that it drives me crazy how single and childless women are marginalised and judged by some people as having lives that are somehow less. This drove me nuts when I was childless.
I know, it's unfair. Everyone's life should be treated as important and meaningful, kids or no kids.
DeleteI agree. Before I had kids people said " when you have kids you realise how meaningless your life used to be "
DeleteMy life had plenty of meaning before children.
I think people can be patronising to the childless and single. Don't like it one bit.
Being married and childless raises a few curious(!) eyebrows as well.
DeleteI can imagine. I have married friends who have chosen not have kids who get judged and I know couples who long for kids and cannot have them and they get weird comments too.
DeleteAGREE!!!! we were not able to have bio children so decided not to pursue other avenues to becoming parents .. and it was a HARD HARD decison that we spent 2 yrs making! Lots of emotion. So when people say flip comments to us about how "selfish" we are and how "your life must be boring" or my favorite "you can babysit my children since you don't have your own" I just have to walk away. Those comments are so rude, hurtful and quite honestly ignorant.
DeleteI've commented to you before that I LOVE how much you love being a mother.It's SO refreshing to hear a woman celebrate the job of motherhood without complaint! I agree that it seems SO fashionable to complain about how hard it is. Life IS hard. Make the best you can of each day, celebrate that you HAD the pleasure of living the day and go on!
My son turns 2 too on the 2nd of March.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that the time has gone by so quickly.
Love the statement necklaces, you have inspired many pieces in my collection!
statement necklaces are key!
DeleteYour little one is lucky to have such a smart, fun and energetic mum. Pity he cannot wear your fab necklaces and nail polishes! X
ReplyDeleteHa! he likes flinging accessories about. I'm lucky to have him. x
DeleteI loved your frock today...so pretty!
ReplyDeleteAnd isn't it nice that the weather has cooled off...perfect for gratins and baking.
I was supposed to make bread today but when I went into the kitchen to start baking I just wasn't feeling it.
Maybe tomorrow.
As for the nearly two thing, I am in total denial that I am the mother of an almost two year old.
The universe obviously wants you to wait....
Deletethanks re dress- old but good.
In denial too! goes to fast! x
FF,
ReplyDeleteI know you treasure these days with your little one, believe me, they fly by. My babies are 20 & 21 and want to be independent as all get out. If you do your job right, this is how it's supposed to go.
I want to do my job right and teach him to be independent too x
DeleteHe has such a beautiful toothy little smile. Those cushions should count themselves lucky!
ReplyDeletethey are scared!
Deletei have a similar plate that my oldest made in preschool. he is now 33 and it's still as beautiful today as the day he gave it to me. i love your words on motherhood, they are so true. xo
ReplyDeletelove it that you still have the plate. x
DeleteOh yes we keep it all...those lttle handprints from pre school, primary school knicknacks, I have a great wonky sculpture and woodwork projects from highschool.
DeleteI now have my projects I made in the 1960s my mother kept
You're a wonderful mum too. You could multi-task for the 'lympics.
ReplyDeleteWe also have lots of cushions in our house that are constantly scattered about by visiting friends, so I'm now culling The Cushions. (I know. Scary stuff.) I am coveting your turquoise leopard-print one tho. And the Anna Spiro / Manuel Canovas one I see every now and then.
On a less-important not (than being a mother), did you see Tara Dillard's post - 'What To Wear On A Garden Tour'? Am now shoving the colours back into the wardrobe and sourcing some camouflage khaki... A concept that's even scarier than having no cushions in house.
xx
I own nothing khaki, NOTHING!!!! Turquoise cushion is from Black and Spiro too x
DeleteLoving that artwork!
ReplyDeleteI think you've got a creative talent on your hands there FF.
Not sure if he's into graphic design or interior design yet though. They grow so fast. And yes you're so right, being a mum is the best job in the world!
love it too x
DeleteWow, I can't believe that your little boy is nearly two! I'm pregnant with my first child (a boy) and can't wait to meet him! It's so lovely to hear your joy at being a mother. It's such a shame that some people really dislike hearing that you enjoy being one!
ReplyDeleteLove the dresses and necklaces, and very interesting re work wear. I work at a University, so Glamour isn't really in, especially for most older women. As a grad student I sometimes found it challenging, especially being judged for wearing lipstick (by other women, the men didn't really notice!). Now I'm no longer an academic it's a bit easier and I can get away with more stylish and smart things.
Loving all the gorgeous bright colours in your garden!
Melusine x
My job was hard and stressful and it was bliss to take maternity leave and look after my baby at home. I just loved it.
DeleteBeing judged for wearing lipstick is crazy. I'd never judge anyone who didn't wear it so why is it ok to judge those who do?
When I look good I feel better but of course I support anyone who feels better when they don't look good.
x
Thank you FF circumstances prevented me fom motherhood I was sad for a long time but it never stopped me from celebrating with gusto the arrival of countless family and friends babies and personally I give the best gifts - but this week I had someone at my work (who has kids) say so do you just watch tv every night with your cat - it was meant to be patronising and it is hurtful that when I support the life choices and lucky outcomes of others some people see it as necessary to point out that as I don't have children I am less and therefore so is my life - what a mistake they make. N
ReplyDeleteN, I find the attitude of those people revolting. I love being a mother, but my life was interesting and meaningful and valid before this happened and to suggest that the childless are somehow less is ludicrous.
DeleteI agree with you that they make a huge mistake and are very limited in they outlook.
Thankyou for your comment x
Many of our close friends are childless for whatever reason (life is complicated for us all) and are living treasured and meaningful lives and we love them dearly. They are also fabulous with our 3 year old son - it takes a village to raise a child doesn't it?
DeleteI have added many colourful things to my wardrobe thanks to your inspiration FF and love a statement necklace.
N,I wish I had been there to handle this person's stupidity and rudeness on your behalf.
DeleteHow wonderful.. I totally agree with you - motherhood is the greatest gift and I never forget how lucky I am. Great statement necklaces! And pink shoes... And I know that the student will have definitely appreciated you feeling in the questionnaire for her dissertation - you are a sweetheart; thank you! S x
ReplyDeleteHi S
DeleteI loved doing that survey it was fascinating and didn't take long x
Your little boy is so sweet and he obviously loves an orange shoe .
ReplyDeleteChildhood goes so fast ... I find it difficult to believe my son is 21
Keep enjoying that little guy! I've always worked and my girls are fine young ladies now; there's no one way to do it.
ReplyDeleteThose poor cushions! They might secretly like the attention, though.
And baby FF is fortunate to have such an enthusiastic and attentive, caring mother! I'm examining the dish ... I'm sort of seeing a boat with birds and people ... or a pop rendition of the FF garden. Maybe a pattern for another cushion? Good job, baby FF!
ReplyDeleteIf you ever get to be a grandmother - watch out FF...you will explode with joy!
ReplyDeleteLove the wardrobe recollections-I think you will love this blog by NY Reggie Darling-so fascinating about the tribe wardrobe for Wall St in the 80s
ReplyDeletehttp://reggiedarling.blogspot.com.au/2012/12/reggies-alden-slip-ons-and-why-he-wears.html
Children are the greatest gift and joy
Dear Ms FF, I need me a statement necklace! I am back to my Coalface on Monday and am trying to eschew the black suit look. We really have to embrace diversity, don't we! I saw a wonderful TED talk called 50 Shades of Gay where the speaker talked of how inappropriate the boxes were that we all were always being shoved into by other people and how more complicated and nuanced we were. If only people would look and listen, they might learn a bit more. Very sad hearing about the mean comments made to women who don't have children. Sometimes we just have to tell these 'well meaning souls' to piss off! Do you think a few RDOs and the appointment of an OH&S Officer may return the cushions back to work? love Lindaxxx
ReplyDeleteWhen my now nearly 15 year old son was at kindy they did a fundraising teatowel with all the kids self portraits printed on it. I have one stashed away that I will give his wife to be at her kitchen tea .. well that‘s the plan! Kaz on the Hill x
ReplyDeleteLove this!!!
DeleteAgree the toothy smile is magic, FF
P xx
My baby turned 1 on the weekend...he's our second and our last, and it feels so emotional. I'm much better at enjoying every moment with both of them than I was first time round. Your garden pics are great, the garden must be looking lovely x
ReplyDeleteI'm at the age where I need to start thinking about having children so it thrills me to hear you luff motherhood. I always wonder why women continue to do it if they all dislike it so much?
ReplyDeleteI wonder that too.
DeleteMaybe it's societal expectations? Pressure from a spouse? Maybe to provide a sibling? Maybe family pressure?
I know I lot of women who hated being pregnant and freely and honestly admit that they find motherhood unrewarding hard and boring and yet keep having kids.
But because I am hardcore into choice I support anyone's desire to do as they please.
x
Infuriating people is a worthwhile pursuit.
ReplyDeleteP has gotten some new togs. They are black and yellow striped like a bumble bee and they have a little STINGER on the bottom!
I can't believe he's two either. He really is a proper little boy now.
Calamari burgers for dinner here tonight.
hilarious re bee,
Deletevongole here tonight with Moet for Valentines day x
I just love the feed thread on your blog. People can be so mean!! I always think it says more about them than the person it's said to!
ReplyDeleteWe do ourselves the greatest service by ignoring the pettiness with head held high!
I was late (in my day) to the mothering gig.32!!! It's the best & hardest thing I've done!!
I want to say thanks for being such a stalwart with your blog. Wz
I just love the feed thread on your blog. People can be so mean!! I always think it says more about them than the person it's said to!
ReplyDeleteWe do ourselves the greatest service by ignoring the pettiness with head held high!
I was late (in my day) to the mothering gig.32!!! It's the best & hardest thing I've done!!
I want to say thanks for being such a stalwart with your blog. Wz
thanks W. The comments are always interesting I think. They are my favourite part because I am nosey and love to see what others think.
Delete32 is so young! I had my baby just before I turned 39 and Old Mr FF turned 49.
It's no that uncommon these days to have a baby in your late 30s but I can see the benefits of being a young mum- more energy etc. For me it wasn't a choice to wait that long, it just worked out that way.
you seem much more energetic than me, FF, and im 25!
DeleteHa I agree mimi and I'm 23!
DeleteHi FF.
ReplyDeleteI shall be rocking a statement necklace tonight! I love your posts, full of colour. Consider me a FF devotee.
I am enjoying the discussion on this post about women/motherhood/singlehood.
I am a professional woman (specialist doctor, doing PhD/research). I left an unhappy marriage, and spent a stint single.
I found it amazing (in a disappointing way) the flak that single women get. That they would leave a "nice" guy. The whole cliche about them sitting with a savvy b while their biological clocks tick. That their worth is somehow less than that of a single man. Et cetera. Et cetera. Unfortunately, a lot of the same vibes came from people close to me.
It was a good time to consolidate my own self-esteem (which had taken a beating), and consider what was important to me. I want children, but in the environment of a happy relationship. If that didn't occur, I decided that I have other valuable things to offer society. It was at times exhilarating, at times, crushingly lonely.
I could talk about this ad infinitum.
But just when I decided to get comfy being single, I met the lovely fella who is taking me out tonight, who will be admiring my statement necklace.
cillaxx
Cilla this is one of my favourite comments ever and I've had maybe 28000 or something.
DeleteCongrats on meeting a lovely fellow.
No one ever patronises George Clooney but different standards apply to women.
I find this annoying and perplexing. I have lived through single girl exhilaration and single girl loneliness. Why does society still marginalise single women. Why???
I could talk about it for hours too x
Eeee! Thanks FF!!!
DeleteSeriously, it took (and continues to take) a lot of thought, energy and THERAPY to have that unassailable sense of self- worth.
Was thinking about re-configuring my blog along this line. You know, to save people money in therapy, it being frugal february and all. Share and share alike.
BTW your son is magnificent, and I love the little plate.
Squeee, Thanks FF!
DeleteYour son is magnificent. Love his artwork.
Cilla,
DeleteAs FF knows, I relate to this in so many ways. I am lucky (so far) to have not encountered any direct "your life is meaningless" commentary, but I have no doubt that I will.
As FF notes, Leonardo DiCaprio, George Clooney, et al, never attract the criticism, veiled or overt, that single women do.
Hope you (and your statement necklace) had a lovely Valentine's evening with the fella.
Buphee
hey Buphee,
DeleteI was just thinking about you. And wondering how you were.
Your life is meaningful without kids and without a partner- why don't people get this??????
Counting the moments til Mad Men? Buying new clothes? Travel plans?
will email xxx
Am embracing Frugal Feb so no new clothes since the jaunt to NY over Christmas/new year.
DeleteWould love to chat/email.
Love, Buphee
xxxx
I was late to motherhood as well; 1st one at age 36 & 2nd at age 38. We had been married for ten years, and people just assumed we didn't want kids. We weren't in a hurry for it, and then it didn't work, so we thought we might never get any kids. I had a good career and we had a nice life, so I didn't feel my life was empty, but I *did* want a family.
ReplyDeleteI had pretty easy pregnancies & worked right up till the bitter end, which made the men in my office terribly nervous. I am very grateful for my girls, and while it isn't always easy, I wouldn't have it any other way. The "baby" just turned 18 last week, so I am wondering what life will be like next Fall when they are both away at college. Hard to imagine not having either one of them here at home any more :-(
---Jill Ann
Always love your See by Chloe dresses - hope you continue wearing them for many more days. I remember the black and navy work jackets I wore in the early 90s - really boring! Lots of cheerful colour is the way to go, and your boy has the right spirit in his orange shoes! The FF garden is looking spectacular since the rains ..
ReplyDeleteHi FF,
ReplyDeleteLet’s start with the obvious, the statement necklaces. Luff! My favourite is the green one.
Like you say, so much of the action happens in the comments and they are certainly speaking to me today...I am one of those childless women people love to feel sorry for and though we have started "trying" (worst choice of words in the world) given that I'm almost 39, the odds are not exactly playing my song!
What I want to say is that unlike many women my age, I’m this old trying to have kids by my own doing, no one to blame but myself. And if I’m really honest, coming to the point of deciding to give the bebe thing a shot in the last few months still took some self-convincing! Don't get me wrong, I luff the little poppets in my life (my sisters have 6 kids between them and both live within 15min of me) - I see them every day and put in a huge effort to enrich and treasure their little lives. My home is set-up to accommodate their wide and varied ages (4 months to 8 years). They drink out of my best limoges china, I pick them up from school, they stay with me, I take them on excursions to the big smoke, I faithfully write to them when we’re overseas and shop for them like no ones business, I stick up for them if their wronged, I cry when their feelings are hurt, I laugh when they say something cute. MY POINT, and I’m sure you’re wondering, the kids in my life mean everything to me and it’s not because I’m not a children person that I didn’t want kids. It’s just that I LOVED our life, still do!
The tall and short of it is this, me and the Mister have left it late, and I know our chances are not good but I do feel very fulfilled in the life I'm living now SO if our path is one without chillens of our own, I shall blame it all on the halcyon days...then keep living them.
I love your blog, it's the only one I check up on. A breath of fresh air in Bloggington.
Happy V-Day to you!
Nx
loved this comment and good luck with your journey.
DeleteI was truly shocked to find out I was pregnant -everyone assumes that we did ivf because of our ages but we didn't and I reckon if I could have a baby that should give other's hope.
I don't want the baby touching the limoges! x
Interesting comments today FF. Firstly, try adding a tablespoon of brandy to the white choc chip biscuits, and some dried cranberries (craisins as they are known in supermarketland). I guarantee they will blow you away. Secondly, I feel sorry for your cushions. This is why my house had few of them for so many years. Thirdly, I love being a mother, hated being pregnant every time (due to extreme morning sickness + enormous and fat babies), but went through with it for the wonderful end result. I think the flip side of what the childless experience by being asked why they don't have children is what I get - "do you work or are you just at home?". Society just expects everything from us women I think. Have a lovely day xx
ReplyDeletethanks for the cranberry tip- I love dried cranberries.
DeleteThe just at home comments are maddening too.
x
Dear FF,
ReplyDeleteI absolutely LOVE the way you post about your love for your son and your joy at being his mother. It is uplifting to read and a fantastic positive message. I too have loved every moment of motherhood since my son was born last year, and although I truly empathise with those who have had a tougher time with thier babies, I haven't and I really relate to your posts.
Dont let the detractors phase you - as you are well aware there are many in the world who only feel good if they are bringing others down.
Your frocks are gorgeous - I discovered a top in my wardorbe recently when i was decluttering that i hadnt worn for at least two years. I put it on yesterday and recived so many lovely comments!
I hope Baby FF (or Toddler FF?) has an awesome birthday and you also have an awesome celebration of your motherhood. My sister said to me when my little man turned one, that your kids birthdays are as much about you as they are about the kids. So true i think.
Have a wonderful day!
PP
Darling, I could see your lips across a meadow, and behind the hedge.
ReplyDeletePerhaps a light, sexy veil as in Out of Africa with your hat?
And I'm sure you wouldn't drink ALL the wine without sharing.
Congrats on your baby. I never did get pregnant. And it's ok, I understand Providence had other choices for me. I adore that you are having so much fun with your son.
Garden & Be Well, XO Tara
Lovely, thought-provoking post.
ReplyDeleteAs a recently single woman I do get frustrated by all the comments. I think we should embrace everyone's choices.
The clothes/glamour at work point is very interesting - I'm in a very conservative environment so its still mostly navy suits (with some pinstripe to mix it up, wheeeeeeee!). I do prefer to wear dresses - sometimes even colourful ones! - on days when I'm not in court or conference, but I have been known to do a hasty change into a suit when someone drops by unexpectedly. I always worry someone might walk in on me - exposed undies while wriggling into a skirt just screams professionalism, doesn't it?
And there are still a few crotchety old judges who don't like to see women in trousers (or, I suspect, women in general). Young women seem to especially upset them. Infuriating.
as far as im concerned, if those judges can't handle seeing women in trousers, i doubt they've come to terms with women lawyers in general.
Deleteim navigating the world of "what do i wear to work" in the legal world as a graduate. im sure i'll look back on my choices and laugh at myself!
Hi FF,
ReplyDeleteI, and my Mum, have been reading your blog for years and I distinctly remember Christmas 2010, I think it may have been Boxing Day - my Mum burst into the bathroom to tell me that Faux (this is what we call you for short) is having a baby!! We were so excited for you and I personally love reading the comments you have to say about being a Mother and your baby. My husband and I are at the stage now where we have to decide whether or not have children (medical reasons for me) and I have always just thought I have plenty of time, but it would seem otherwise. It is quite a daunting decision as you hear some things about motherhood which are quite offputting - weight gain, loss of identity, etc, etc. You are a true inspiration being so glamerous, organised and a career woman, yet incorporating a little person into your life and still keeping these standards high.
If I am lucky to have children I hope I feel the same amount of joy and happiness that you so.
xxx
I remember that post I was 7 months pregannt and wasn't going to reveal it but then I decided I would!
DeleteI gained weight but I lost it, I kept my identity but became more patient. Everyone has a different experience. Everyone told me I'd hate it, that my personality wouldn't suit it, that I'd never be able to do my nails again, all this stuff that made me nervous. Maybe because people said how awful and hard it would be was good because when it happened it was easy in comparison. x
My bub (almost 2 year old bub!) is the love of my life. What a darling she is! I have my moments of frustration with her, but they are about the two of us learning together. Being her mum is simply the best. Xx
ReplyDeleteDon't comment often but loved this post so much! I have very strong views myself about how single women of a certain age are marginalized in society and reminded constantly about their "ticking biological clock". It depresses me immensely and as you say...George Clooney never endures such negativity!
ReplyDeleteI love how much you never take for granted motherhood and always look at the positives. It maddens me how negative people can be about their children without realizing how lucky they are. There are so many people out there who really should never have had children. My mother is a primary school teacher and you only have to look at the parents of the miserable children to understand why they act the way they do....some parents are just horrible people and it's a tragedy that their children have to be raised by such people. I will be grateful forever if one day I am lucky enough to become a mother....until that day I will continue to find fulfillment with the things I do have in my life!!
I never ake anything for granted because you never know when it will be whipped away from you.
DeleteSome people just do not enjoy parenting.
I actually like it all- even the tantrums and the sickness because what's the alternative? That you don't have a child?
I don't know if I would have had this approach if I had been younger. I grew up a lot in my 30s. x
Love the statement necklaces and silk frocks - another lovely colourful post to start the day.
ReplyDeleteI was also late coming to motherhood at 36 and absolutely love being a mother to my gorgeous girl. When I was pregnant I finished work on Wednesday and my baby was due on Saturday.....but of course she decided to stay where she was for another 2 weeks! I was lucky to have one lovely healthy baby and still adore looking at her baby photos all these years later. She is a kind, wonderful, affectionate and lovely person and we are so proud of her.
She is a lawyer and recently attended a legal conference where most of the people were in black, grey or navy suits.....she channelled you FF and wore a fabulous cornflour blue jacket, large yellow statement necklace, hair in a bun a bit FF-style and pencil skirt - she looked a million dollars...you would have been very proud of her outfit.
Your cushions are lucky to have all that attention. He is such a cute little boy with a gorgeous smile who looks very happy. What birthday celebrations have you planned for him? When my daughter turned 2, I hired a complete toy library for the day (racing cars, mini petrol bowsers, bikes, games, puzzles, prams, dolls, blow-up furniture, make-up counter, mirrors, etc.) for the 20 boys and girls attending. When the parents came to collect them afterwards, we had champagne and finger food for everyone.
I made a birthday party book after each party up until the age of about 10 which included the guest list, invitation, photos of all the children, the food, etc. We love looking at our 'Party Books' as they are very special.
Enough of this chatting. Have a Happy Valentine's Day and I hope that Mr. FF cooks a lovely dinner for you.
Lorraine E
xx
I was going to do a low key party for the 2nd birthday with just family!
DeleteHe has your beautiful mouth. And your hands. Lucky Master FF.
ReplyDeleteAs I enter into the 40 days of Lent I think of how much Jesus wanted us to LIVE.
You LIVE dear FF! No dying dead days of complaining the world won't devote itself to making you happy. You inspire others to LIVE. Me included.
So here's to LIVING 11/10-whatever our circumstances-with our hearts soft and our statement necklaces on.
So kind of you to say this x
DeleteAnonymous - your post was so lovely! FF I agree with this post you often make me try to be more positive and to make the most of my days....not to mention to add more accessories to every outfit!!
DeleteAGREED!!!! Reading this blog motivates me to do all that I want/can in the day. Life is about choices and let's celebrate and encourage each other to make the ones that are right for each of us.
Deletebravo FF!
Hi ff - i had such a journey to get my girls - late miscarriage at 20 weeks followed by a year of trying to find out that both my husband and i had fertility issues - several laproscopies - 7 ivf cycles failed - fell pregnant naturally - miscarried another ivf and then sucess - pregnancy - v. Stressful with every week a triumph and a goal of 26 weeks gestation and the word viable a constant. Got to 36 weeks and under threat of preeclampsia she was born - so grateful! When our second daughter was born without much stress & naturally concieved 22 months later we really knew how lucky we were......its not always easy but being so grateful makes those challenges less difficult - i am now 37 with a 3 & 18 month old and appreciate every day. I think so much unhappiness atems from high expectations - once they are realigned everything is a bonus ! Ps love how colourfully you live - constantly inspiring
ReplyDeleteHello,
DeleteI agree that unhappiness sometimes stems from high expectations.
My own expectations are extremely low.
It takes so little to make me happy. But I kind of believe happiness is a choice. Sort of .
Glad you had your children. x
when i was in primary school, i wished george clooney was my stepdad. i blame all those episodes of ER in the 90s.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post. We are driving my biggest baby to his new home at UQ on Saturday. I tear up every 15 minutes at the thought. He's ready but not sure I am.
ReplyDeleteI'm late to the party again - living in the US makes it challenging to participate in anything approaching real time. I love your dresses (frocks) but find myself still wearing mostly trouser suits. I wonder if is is easier now to dress in a more feminine style and still be accorded respect as a serious professional. I know when I started in the early '80's, there were all these books advising the blue or gray suit. In terms of children, having them was never a priority for me. I think I saw too many of my colleagues struggle to find good child care while we were in training. It always fell to the mother to fill the gaps when childcare fell apart and I couldn't see making that work with the demands of medicine. My mother was older when she had me, and she wouldn't have been able to help out. So many of my colleagues and friends lost their personal and professional identities after having children. There is extreme social pressure on women to marry and have children - it is almost as though an unmarried and/or childfree woman is seen as a threat to good social order. Thanks for your comments and support of those of us have chosen a different path.
ReplyDeleteDoc P
DeleteThank you for this thoughtful message.
I think it is easier to have freedom to dress as you choose these days with some caveats- 1. I am fairly senior in this organisation, perhaps I would dress differently if I was junior. 2. I work for the government- perhaps if I went back to private practice I'd have to be more conservative.
I have seen women lose their identities after children in a way that men do not. I suppose there is enormous pressure on women to put their kids needs 1st and give up everything for them.
My approach is if I'm happy he's happy. I do not think giving up my passions and interests will make me a better mother.
My life is a huge juggling act. I spend a lot of time rushing and actioning this with the speed of light. I get up early, I go to bed late and I worry a lot. A lot.
I love being a mother and parenting but I strongly believe that being childless and single either by choice or by circumstance is is no way a lesser path.
I am not married but I agree there is societal pressure to do this as well.
x
Hi FF
ReplyDeleteFF I love your blog, your little boy is adorable and you are a glorious inspiration. I’ve always been into poncing about with makeup, jewellery, putting together ensembles etc from a very young age, but have firmly stepped it up a few notches since I found your blog!
As I come in at the tail end of these wonderful comments, as a single 42 year old woman who, for whatever reason, has not found a husband/partner to share my life, I actually want to thank you and your readers for your lovely and supportive comments about we the ‘marginalised’ ones. I feel quite touched by the kindness shown in this forum.
Over the years the openness with which friends, family, cousins, colleagues, acquaintances have shown their horror at my singledom has never ceased to knock the wind out of my sails. From being told several times by people that I wouldn't be invited to their dinner parties as I didn't have a partner therefore they didn't want uneven numbers, to the mistreatment towards me when invited to Weddings when I was unable to bring along a 'partner', the behavior of both men and women (in my case usually married women) is mostly downright mean. I could go on because there are plenty more awful stories I could tell.
A top bloke may still pop up into in my life, which would be a blessing, however it is far too late to consider babies, and what a bloody shame. I am an outstanding Aunty, with unequalled babysitting skills, who gives the best gifts ever! I am open-minded (usually), savvy, gorgeous and I don’t suffer fools. There are many life lessons I could instill in a little person.
I refuse to be marginalised by society, and have culled quite a few people out of my life due to exactly this - they saw me as less than they are, as I’m neither a wife nor a mother. While it would be a gift to be partnered up and a parent, I am so grateful for all of the good that I have in my life. I have a lot of blessings to count.
Best wishes to you and your readers
Sarah
Thank you for this excellent email.
DeleteI am so sorry to read you have suffered at the hands of the smug marrieds and been excluded from dinner parties and stuff because you are single- how ridiculous.
I too have a million of those awful storeis- no single childless woman should be treated this way in 2013!!!!
Best wishes to you S xxx
You were my fauxspiration today FF! Purchased my first ginger jar (pink no less)!
ReplyDeletehttp://alondonjem.wordpress.com/2013/02/15/fauxspiration/
xx
well done!
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